Friday, December 24, 2010

A quick post

Merry Yule all! Merry Christmas too...in fact Merry Winter Holidays.

My husband and I are staying at my parents house right now. We're staying until the day before New Years. And this is the year, this is the year I'm going to come out of the Broom Closet to them. I'm still not 100% sure how, I'm debating a letter vs talking to them. I'm really leaning letter. But we'll see. I'm just going to let it go for the next few days though and enjoy the holidays with my family. I only see them once a year and (not meaning to be dramatic) I'm a little afraid of what's going to happen after I tell them. It's unlikely they'll disown me, but at the same time I can't rule it out entirely. :-/

But for now, I'm going to enjoy my holiday and break and I hope everyone has safe and wonderful holidays!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Positives of the Past Year

Episode #7.5 came out this week! It's so much fun to do our show. :-) This has been a really crazy year. I was just thinking today of all the things that have changed for me over the past few years, let me share:

On Dec. 12, 2008 I weighed 180 lbs. Over the next year I joined a Curves Women's Fitness Center and changed how I ate, by December 2009 I weighed 140 lbs (what was my original weight loss goal); but I was doing so well, I ended up losing ten more lbs and now I'm under 130. It was really challenging for me, but has really showed me that I have control over myself, my body, and my universe. I know it's sort of a vain thing to be so concerned about, but it's really made me much more satisfied with myself. I think I used to "hide" my emotions with food too...instead of thinking why I felt bad, I would eat pop-tarts (a box). Now, I think about my feelings, why they're there, judge their validity, and find solutions.

On a related note, over the past...well forever, I've struggled with depression. I don't ever remember (not even in childhood) being really happy. It's been my norm to be sad. But over the past year or so I'm finally starting to find a balance and I'm happier now than I've ever been. Sometimes the depression wave will sweep over me, but I don't wallow in it and it doesn't bring my whole world to a crashing halt as it used to. I feel like I can finally cope in a way that makes me happy.

In February of this year I was laid off from my job; it was devastating emotionally and financially. Over the past few months I've gotten work relevant to the field I want to work in (not ideal work, but it's steady) and I've had the opportunity to participate in job training that is preparing me for my ideal work. I'm in an even better place than I was before I was laid off.

In this past year, my husband and I joined a coven; it all came together so easily. We contacted the groups that were closest to us via Witchvox and emailed with a few of them and then met with the one we felt the best about and then joined. Being in a coven has opened us up to each other and to the Pagan community. I can't imagine life without it.

These are the things that I think have been the most dramatic and important changes in my life in recent years; I'm very thankful to have had all these experiences. My life is good. I love it.

In two weeks (when we go to my family's home for the holidays) I am coming out of the broom closet. I'm nervous, but I believe it's for the best. I can't say I'm looking forward to it though. :-)