Hello All!
This blog was really made for a specific purpose and that was the work through my coming out process to my parents. I'm very proud of myself for having been able to complete that. My parents still haven't really acknowledged my faith. In fact they haven't said anything about it. But, I've done my job. I will be starting a new blog: Boho Witch. If anything interesting happens in the parental-pagan-acceptance area of my life I will be sure to post, but really, I feel like I've done what I set out to do in regards to coming out of the broom closet to my family.
Thanks for hanging in there for the ride!
--Renny
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
It's been a little while...
Hello! It's been a little while since I've made a post. I've been really busy with work over the last couple of months. Things are easing up now however.
In update: my mother still hasn't spoken to me for more that 3 minutes total (since December). My father and I had a 30-40 minute conversation last week. We're in the same career field, so we just talked shop. It wasn't anything in depth, but we talked. So, I'm still not sure what's going on. At this point I don't feel like we'll be making the yearly pilgrimage home over the winter holidays--Unless things drastically change and I feel welcome instead of slightly tolerated.
We shall see.
In update: my mother still hasn't spoken to me for more that 3 minutes total (since December). My father and I had a 30-40 minute conversation last week. We're in the same career field, so we just talked shop. It wasn't anything in depth, but we talked. So, I'm still not sure what's going on. At this point I don't feel like we'll be making the yearly pilgrimage home over the winter holidays--Unless things drastically change and I feel welcome instead of slightly tolerated.
We shall see.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Life is Good
I've been in an exceptionally good mood lately. I've felt good about me and my life (work and personal). I'm crazy busy as of late. There has not been one weekend since the Winter Holidays that has been open and free yet, and I don't expect to have one until March. But it's a lot of fun, I enjoy being busy.
My parents still aren't talking to me. I got a weird email from my Grandmother; she wanted to know how I was because she usually finds out from my mom, who of course does not know at the moment. As sort of melancholy as it is that my parents haven't talked to me since I came out of the broom closet, I don't feel bad about it. Either they'll come around or they won't. I've tried to call a half a dozen times and they don't answer or call me back when I leave a message. My mom picked up the phone once, talked for 3 seconds, said "Oh I'm in a store and need to check out, can I call you back as soon as I'm done?" And she did not call me back. So, that's where we are with that. They're still wrestling with it (I suppose) and I'm feeling good about myself.
I started taking belly dance a few weeks ago. I cannot emphasize how much I love it. I have never felt so good about my body image. Not even in therapy (and this is half the price). And I get to dress up and be all frilly and girly twice a week. It's the best.
The podcast; the podcast is a little behind. Rose and I have both had major conflicts all January. We'll be recording as soon as we can, probably early February.
My parents still aren't talking to me. I got a weird email from my Grandmother; she wanted to know how I was because she usually finds out from my mom, who of course does not know at the moment. As sort of melancholy as it is that my parents haven't talked to me since I came out of the broom closet, I don't feel bad about it. Either they'll come around or they won't. I've tried to call a half a dozen times and they don't answer or call me back when I leave a message. My mom picked up the phone once, talked for 3 seconds, said "Oh I'm in a store and need to check out, can I call you back as soon as I'm done?" And she did not call me back. So, that's where we are with that. They're still wrestling with it (I suppose) and I'm feeling good about myself.
I started taking belly dance a few weeks ago. I cannot emphasize how much I love it. I have never felt so good about my body image. Not even in therapy (and this is half the price). And I get to dress up and be all frilly and girly twice a week. It's the best.
The podcast; the podcast is a little behind. Rose and I have both had major conflicts all January. We'll be recording as soon as we can, probably early February.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Update
Just a quick update. My parents still aren't talking to me. But my life is crazy and busy. So I can deal.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Rip the bandaid
Hello All!
I know this post is over due. I kept my commitment to myself; I came out of the broom closet to my family on 12/30/10. I was unable to tell them face to face. I tried, but I was so nervous that I became physically ill (it was bad). I wrote them a note and they've read it and have chosen to not dignify it with a response. In fact, since we've come home from visiting them over the holidays, my mother won't answer my phone calls or return my messages. I'm supposing that she's in denile, but I can't say for sure.
On the bright side, there was no violent or verbally abusive reaction. But on the darker side, there was no reaction at all, which leads me to believe that the reaction has yet to happen.
I'm happy though, I kept my commitment to myself and that's what I truly wanted.
I know this post is over due. I kept my commitment to myself; I came out of the broom closet to my family on 12/30/10. I was unable to tell them face to face. I tried, but I was so nervous that I became physically ill (it was bad). I wrote them a note and they've read it and have chosen to not dignify it with a response. In fact, since we've come home from visiting them over the holidays, my mother won't answer my phone calls or return my messages. I'm supposing that she's in denile, but I can't say for sure.
On the bright side, there was no violent or verbally abusive reaction. But on the darker side, there was no reaction at all, which leads me to believe that the reaction has yet to happen.
I'm happy though, I kept my commitment to myself and that's what I truly wanted.
Friday, December 24, 2010
A quick post
Merry Yule all! Merry Christmas too...in fact Merry Winter Holidays.
My husband and I are staying at my parents house right now. We're staying until the day before New Years. And this is the year, this is the year I'm going to come out of the Broom Closet to them. I'm still not 100% sure how, I'm debating a letter vs talking to them. I'm really leaning letter. But we'll see. I'm just going to let it go for the next few days though and enjoy the holidays with my family. I only see them once a year and (not meaning to be dramatic) I'm a little afraid of what's going to happen after I tell them. It's unlikely they'll disown me, but at the same time I can't rule it out entirely. :-/
But for now, I'm going to enjoy my holiday and break and I hope everyone has safe and wonderful holidays!
My husband and I are staying at my parents house right now. We're staying until the day before New Years. And this is the year, this is the year I'm going to come out of the Broom Closet to them. I'm still not 100% sure how, I'm debating a letter vs talking to them. I'm really leaning letter. But we'll see. I'm just going to let it go for the next few days though and enjoy the holidays with my family. I only see them once a year and (not meaning to be dramatic) I'm a little afraid of what's going to happen after I tell them. It's unlikely they'll disown me, but at the same time I can't rule it out entirely. :-/
But for now, I'm going to enjoy my holiday and break and I hope everyone has safe and wonderful holidays!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Positives of the Past Year
Episode #7.5 came out this week! It's so much fun to do our show. :-) This has been a really crazy year. I was just thinking today of all the things that have changed for me over the past few years, let me share:
On Dec. 12, 2008 I weighed 180 lbs. Over the next year I joined a Curves Women's Fitness Center and changed how I ate, by December 2009 I weighed 140 lbs (what was my original weight loss goal); but I was doing so well, I ended up losing ten more lbs and now I'm under 130. It was really challenging for me, but has really showed me that I have control over myself, my body, and my universe. I know it's sort of a vain thing to be so concerned about, but it's really made me much more satisfied with myself. I think I used to "hide" my emotions with food too...instead of thinking why I felt bad, I would eat pop-tarts (a box). Now, I think about my feelings, why they're there, judge their validity, and find solutions.
On a related note, over the past...well forever, I've struggled with depression. I don't ever remember (not even in childhood) being really happy. It's been my norm to be sad. But over the past year or so I'm finally starting to find a balance and I'm happier now than I've ever been. Sometimes the depression wave will sweep over me, but I don't wallow in it and it doesn't bring my whole world to a crashing halt as it used to. I feel like I can finally cope in a way that makes me happy.
In February of this year I was laid off from my job; it was devastating emotionally and financially. Over the past few months I've gotten work relevant to the field I want to work in (not ideal work, but it's steady) and I've had the opportunity to participate in job training that is preparing me for my ideal work. I'm in an even better place than I was before I was laid off.
In this past year, my husband and I joined a coven; it all came together so easily. We contacted the groups that were closest to us via Witchvox and emailed with a few of them and then met with the one we felt the best about and then joined. Being in a coven has opened us up to each other and to the Pagan community. I can't imagine life without it.
These are the things that I think have been the most dramatic and important changes in my life in recent years; I'm very thankful to have had all these experiences. My life is good. I love it.
In two weeks (when we go to my family's home for the holidays) I am coming out of the broom closet. I'm nervous, but I believe it's for the best. I can't say I'm looking forward to it though. :-)
On Dec. 12, 2008 I weighed 180 lbs. Over the next year I joined a Curves Women's Fitness Center and changed how I ate, by December 2009 I weighed 140 lbs (what was my original weight loss goal); but I was doing so well, I ended up losing ten more lbs and now I'm under 130. It was really challenging for me, but has really showed me that I have control over myself, my body, and my universe. I know it's sort of a vain thing to be so concerned about, but it's really made me much more satisfied with myself. I think I used to "hide" my emotions with food too...instead of thinking why I felt bad, I would eat pop-tarts (a box). Now, I think about my feelings, why they're there, judge their validity, and find solutions.
On a related note, over the past...well forever, I've struggled with depression. I don't ever remember (not even in childhood) being really happy. It's been my norm to be sad. But over the past year or so I'm finally starting to find a balance and I'm happier now than I've ever been. Sometimes the depression wave will sweep over me, but I don't wallow in it and it doesn't bring my whole world to a crashing halt as it used to. I feel like I can finally cope in a way that makes me happy.
In February of this year I was laid off from my job; it was devastating emotionally and financially. Over the past few months I've gotten work relevant to the field I want to work in (not ideal work, but it's steady) and I've had the opportunity to participate in job training that is preparing me for my ideal work. I'm in an even better place than I was before I was laid off.
In this past year, my husband and I joined a coven; it all came together so easily. We contacted the groups that were closest to us via Witchvox and emailed with a few of them and then met with the one we felt the best about and then joined. Being in a coven has opened us up to each other and to the Pagan community. I can't imagine life without it.
These are the things that I think have been the most dramatic and important changes in my life in recent years; I'm very thankful to have had all these experiences. My life is good. I love it.
In two weeks (when we go to my family's home for the holidays) I am coming out of the broom closet. I'm nervous, but I believe it's for the best. I can't say I'm looking forward to it though. :-)
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