Sunday, July 31, 2011

Completing the Escape

Hello All!

This blog was really made for a specific purpose and that was the work through my coming out process to my parents. I'm very proud of myself for having been able to complete that. My parents still haven't really acknowledged my faith. In fact they haven't said anything about it. But, I've done my job. I will be starting a new blog: Boho Witch. If anything interesting happens in the parental-pagan-acceptance area of my life I will be sure to post, but really, I feel like I've done what I set out to do in regards to coming out of the broom closet to my family.

Thanks for hanging in there for the ride!
--Renny

Sunday, April 24, 2011

It's been a little while...

Hello! It's been a little while since I've made a post. I've been really busy with work over the last couple of months. Things are easing up now however.

In update: my mother still hasn't spoken to me for more that 3 minutes total (since December). My father and I had a 30-40 minute conversation last week. We're in the same career field, so we just talked shop. It wasn't anything in depth, but we talked. So, I'm still not sure what's going on. At this point I don't feel like we'll be making the yearly pilgrimage home over the winter holidays--Unless things drastically change and I feel welcome instead of slightly tolerated.

We shall see.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Life is Good

I've been in an exceptionally good mood lately. I've felt good about me and my life (work and personal). I'm crazy busy as of late. There has not been one weekend since the Winter Holidays that has been open and free yet, and I don't expect to have one until March. But it's a lot of fun, I enjoy being busy.

My parents still aren't talking to me. I got a weird email from my Grandmother; she wanted to know how I was because she usually finds out from my mom, who of course does not know at the moment. As sort of melancholy as it is that my parents haven't talked to me since I came out of the broom closet, I don't feel bad about it. Either they'll come around or they won't. I've tried to call a half a dozen times and they don't answer or call me back when I leave a message. My mom picked up the phone once, talked for 3 seconds, said "Oh I'm in a store and need to check out, can I call you back as soon as I'm done?" And she did not call me back. So, that's where we are with that. They're still wrestling with it (I suppose) and I'm feeling good about myself.

I started taking belly dance a few weeks ago. I cannot emphasize how much I love it. I have never felt so good about my body image. Not even in therapy (and this is half the price). And I get to dress up and be all frilly and girly twice a week. It's the best.

The podcast; the podcast is a little behind. Rose and I have both had major conflicts all January. We'll be recording as soon as we can, probably early February.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Update

Just a quick update. My parents still aren't talking to me. But my life is crazy and busy. So I can deal.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Rip the bandaid

Hello All!

I know this post is over due. I kept my commitment to myself; I came out of the broom closet to my family on 12/30/10. I was unable to tell them face to face. I tried, but I was so nervous that I became physically ill (it was bad). I wrote them a note and they've read it and have chosen to not dignify it with a response. In fact, since we've come home from visiting them over the holidays, my mother won't answer my phone calls or return my messages. I'm supposing that she's in denile, but I can't say for sure.

On the bright side, there was no violent or verbally abusive reaction. But on the darker side, there was no reaction at all, which leads me to believe that the reaction has yet to happen.

I'm happy though, I kept my commitment to myself and that's what I truly wanted.

Friday, December 24, 2010

A quick post

Merry Yule all! Merry Christmas too...in fact Merry Winter Holidays.

My husband and I are staying at my parents house right now. We're staying until the day before New Years. And this is the year, this is the year I'm going to come out of the Broom Closet to them. I'm still not 100% sure how, I'm debating a letter vs talking to them. I'm really leaning letter. But we'll see. I'm just going to let it go for the next few days though and enjoy the holidays with my family. I only see them once a year and (not meaning to be dramatic) I'm a little afraid of what's going to happen after I tell them. It's unlikely they'll disown me, but at the same time I can't rule it out entirely. :-/

But for now, I'm going to enjoy my holiday and break and I hope everyone has safe and wonderful holidays!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Positives of the Past Year

Episode #7.5 came out this week! It's so much fun to do our show. :-) This has been a really crazy year. I was just thinking today of all the things that have changed for me over the past few years, let me share:

On Dec. 12, 2008 I weighed 180 lbs. Over the next year I joined a Curves Women's Fitness Center and changed how I ate, by December 2009 I weighed 140 lbs (what was my original weight loss goal); but I was doing so well, I ended up losing ten more lbs and now I'm under 130. It was really challenging for me, but has really showed me that I have control over myself, my body, and my universe. I know it's sort of a vain thing to be so concerned about, but it's really made me much more satisfied with myself. I think I used to "hide" my emotions with food too...instead of thinking why I felt bad, I would eat pop-tarts (a box). Now, I think about my feelings, why they're there, judge their validity, and find solutions.

On a related note, over the past...well forever, I've struggled with depression. I don't ever remember (not even in childhood) being really happy. It's been my norm to be sad. But over the past year or so I'm finally starting to find a balance and I'm happier now than I've ever been. Sometimes the depression wave will sweep over me, but I don't wallow in it and it doesn't bring my whole world to a crashing halt as it used to. I feel like I can finally cope in a way that makes me happy.

In February of this year I was laid off from my job; it was devastating emotionally and financially. Over the past few months I've gotten work relevant to the field I want to work in (not ideal work, but it's steady) and I've had the opportunity to participate in job training that is preparing me for my ideal work. I'm in an even better place than I was before I was laid off.

In this past year, my husband and I joined a coven; it all came together so easily. We contacted the groups that were closest to us via Witchvox and emailed with a few of them and then met with the one we felt the best about and then joined. Being in a coven has opened us up to each other and to the Pagan community. I can't imagine life without it.

These are the things that I think have been the most dramatic and important changes in my life in recent years; I'm very thankful to have had all these experiences. My life is good. I love it.

In two weeks (when we go to my family's home for the holidays) I am coming out of the broom closet. I'm nervous, but I believe it's for the best. I can't say I'm looking forward to it though. :-)

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Black Friday Hate?

Hello!

First of all: Happy Belated Thanksgiving to all! I hope you had a great day. Second of all: Happy Black Friday to all! I hope you had a great day, whatever that means to you.

It's funny, watching FaceBook over the past 24 hours; there's so much Black Friday Hate. Either people are excited or they hate it. I usually go Black Friday shopping. This year I saved about 65% off the regular prices on my purchases and I'm done with all my shopping for Christmas. I've just got some hand-made things to finish up. My Black Friday Experiences have always been good. I've never seen a mob, I've never been pushed or shoved, but I do have a cardinal Black Friday Rule; "Have a I don't care attitude at all times." For example: what you wanted to buy is sold out, instead of finding someone holding that item wrestling them down and ripping it from their hands say, "I don't care, I'll find something better or the same at another store." Another example: People in line infront of you are fighting and start getting really close to you, instead of saying Black Friday is terrible, I'm never doing this again, say "Wow, they're crazy, but I don't care." And then walk to the next line over to get away from the crazies (although this has never happened to me). Unless you are the kind of person who can go with the flow, then you shouldn't go a Black Fridaying, but don't hate on it just because it's not your style.

Additionally, I've found a lot of people saying Black Friday=Commercial=Bad. Ok, yes, the holidays should not be only about the commercial. But, spending some time picking something special for the people in your life that you care about is not commercial--it's kind and in some cases the least you can do. I just go Black Fridaying because the prices are really good that day, I can get it all out of the way in one day, and the extra money in my budget from getting things cheaper allows me to spend almost a third of my Christmas budget on a Salvation Army Angel Tree child.

Every day is what you make of it; if you decide a day is terrible and you let it make you feel icky all day, that's on you, not the day. Also, judging a whole group of people who go Black Fridaying as crazy and commercial-minded isn't cool. I think it's been well established (or should be at this point) you can't/shouldn't judge a large group of people. There is no way you can understand or know everyone's mindset or thoughts, don't pretend to.

And in closing: Thank you to everyone in my town for being awesome Black Fridayers. I had nice conversations with people in lines, the stores I went to were very well managed for the day, there was no pushing or shoving or cutting or cheating. Everyone was fair and cool. Thanks.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Psychic Fair

Hello!

So my dear friend Rose and I went to the Sense-ations Psychic fair in Dallas yesterday. We really enjoyed it and will be doing an event review on the podcast (which we plan to record this week and put out on the 30th or 1st). I had two readings done and really enjoyed them both; we also did mini-sessions of Voice Mapping, which was really interesting.

More details to come out in the show.

Choa!
-Ren

Sunday, November 14, 2010

New Episode

Hello All!

New episode of Shhh! There Are Pagans in Texas will be coming out soonish...tonight or tomorrow. It is editted, it's just a matter of services catching up with me.

In this episode we ended up talking about proselytizing and I had written a prepared statement, which I'd like to also share here:

It is my belief (MY belief) that it is not right to attempt to change people. I believe that change can only originate from the individual. If they don't want to change, they won't, so it's rude to try to impose change on someone who doesn't want/ask for it. If someone has questions about a faith or a religion, then it makes perfect sense for them to seek out people of that religion/faith to learn about it, be it Christian, Wicca, Hindu, Muslim, etc. In my humble opinion that is the appropriate time to share or educate about your faith or religion--when it is asked of you. When people come to you, that is when they are open, or most likely to be open, to hearing what you say and then it is not a confrontation, just a conversation. When someone is attacking or defending, they're in fight or flight mode, survival more. When you're surviving you can't make logical statements or learn anything new.

So, in answer to the question: No, in my humble opinion, we as Pagans, Wiccans, in fact Human Beings of any faith should not proselytize. We should not be confrontational about something as deeply personal as faith. We should have civil interfaith conversations amongst those who want to participate; we should not force these conversations.

When I am approached by a proselytizer, I calmly and politely thank them for the information, end the conversation and move on with my life. They are just doing their job by sharing their faith. It's what they were called to do. And by being polite I am doing what I see as my job: not interfering with others faith, treating others politely, and since they didn't ask (they usually don't) about my faith not sharing. I'm not saying my way of handling it is the best or most appropriate for everyone, just for me. As long as they don't become confrontational or harass or abuse me; then I can handle it gracefully. Only if they were to cross the boundary into rude, mean, or illegal actions would it truly become a problem to me.


I just want to live and let live. Not everyone will agree with me, but by my own statement, that has to be OK.

Enjoy the Episode and have a great week!

Chao!
-Renny

Monday, November 8, 2010

Post Samhain

Hello All!

My husband and I had a fantastic Samhain! In this post are pictures of our Samhain Pumpkins. I carved the Goddess Pumpkin and he carved the God. We also roasted the seeds (which we're still eating on).
In other news, our whole apartment complex is having a wasp problem. My husband has had to kill at least 1 a day (sometimes up to 3) that has gotten into our house. He has to kill them because I'm allergic to them and if they sting me, I die. It's been almost a week and the complex hasn't done anything. The arguement is because it's been windy and they can't spray when the winds over 10 mph. That makes sense, but we also have a 1 inch gap in our front door (which they're coming in through) and they have yet to send anyone out to even look at that. I'm a bit frustrated. I don't really want to end up in the hospital for something preventable and I certainly don't want to die.
:-/

Chao!
-Renny



Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Samhain!!

It's Samhain! All Hallow's Eve, Dia de Muerte, Halloween--doesn't matter the name, it's the most freaking awesome day of the year. I love this day. It takes me back to remembering my secret rites I used to practice as a teen living in my parent's house. I'd lock myself in my (rather large) bathroom, light candles, work my magic or just commune with the night. It's frequently foggy at night this time of year where I'm from and the atmosphere is unlike any of I've met since. It could have been conceived as creepy--but if you understood it, the fog and the cold night breeze were loving and gentle. The spirits and other-beings nearly visible in the deep midnight fog. It was magical and truly encapsulates my feelings on this holiday honoring the dead, the underworld, and the otherbeings.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Reporting

Hello!

Well, CMA was fun, a bit cold but fun. I definately enjoyed hanging out with my friends and knowing that (for a brief weekend) I was not in a religious minority. My husband and I made breakfast on the last day for everyone: French Toast and Sausage. We also brought a much larger tent this time, which just made the entire event much more comfortable. We went from litterally just enough room for 2 backpacks and a queen mattress to a 12x12 dome that we could stand up in. It was delightful. We also went to Revel Fire (which we some how managed to miss at Beltane)--it was really hypnotic. 23 foot flames usually are, but the people, drumming and dancing made it really special. It inspired me to try to find a place to take belly dancing lessons. I actually found a studio in my town, but they're in the process of moving and won't be taking new students until December, I think I'm going to look for another studio, but if I don't find anything by December I'll go with that one. It would be really nice to be able to take an evening class and be home before 8pm (since I have to get up very early in the mornings for work).

Well, that's a quick summation of my recent life. This coming weekend is Samhain; we've already been to one Samhain ritual and have 3 more scheduled to attend next weekend. It's really the busiest time for witches.

Chao!
-Ren

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Getting Ready to Camp

Greetings from Pagan Camping Central! We are in preparing for camping mode. We're getting ready to go to CMA and my living room looks like the Outdooring aisle at Academy. We're busy, but it's good.
:-)

Monday, October 4, 2010

It's October, It's October, IT'S OCTOBER!

So, it's October! I'm giddy; it's my favorite month. Halloween/Samhain is my favorite holiday and fall is my favorite season. Although I have a certain soft spot for Christmas/Yule and winter, but the fall season/holidays are my favorite.

Yesterday Rose & I Went to the Cowtown Celtic Festival. I really enjoyed the event. I think the downside was the front security people had to look through my purse and they found something. I had concealed a half-sized diet-coke (it was my breakfast) in my purse.

Security Lady: "You're going to have to through that away."

Me: "Really?"

Security Lady: Points behind me..."Trashcan." She then sits back down.

OK, I do (sort of) get venues not allowing outside food/drink, BUT, this was a halfsized diet coke that was half finished.

That was my only negative experience of the day, so I was happy. We saw/heard a lot of good artists, checked out (and bought some stuff) from vendors, and ate a fantastic Twisted Potato (I had never met such a thing, but wow, aaaaa-mazing!).

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Banished Pumpkin

So my Mabon was unexpectedly extended. Friends of ours ended up delaying their Mabon celebration to this past weekend, so our Mabon continued! It's one of my favorite holidays, so no complaints from me. However...we were to each pick a pumpkin from a basket that had a blessing written on the bottom for the coming year. Mine said "Love"--which is good, all you need is love, right? Well...my husband just had to go and draw a pumpkin with "Fertility" written on it. Why?!?!

For those who don't know, I (and my husband) don't want to have babies. We'd like to raise children someday (adoption) but we do not want to have (biological) babies. It's just a thing we have.

I have banished the pumpkin to his office to promote fertility in his business.

*sigh*

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Upgrades!

Hello Everyone!

So, a lot of news. I got a mini-job upgrade. I went from unreliable temporary work to a part time job that's reliable in addition to my unreliable job. It's very exciting and I'm very grateful for the upgrade. :-)

Our Coven's sign went up for our "Adopt a Park"! I <3 the picture. Brings me tons of job.

And finally, episode #4.5 of Shhh! There Are Pagan In Texas is here!! I literally finished editing within the past hour. Phew!

Happy Mabon everyone, I hope you receive the harvests you seek.

Chao!
-Ren

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Pagan Pride Day

Pagan Pride Day was great! I had a great time hanging out with Rose and my husband; I loved meeting Tommy Elf (From the Edge of the Circle), David Pollard (CUUPS Podcast), the Area Reps from CMA, and Michael and all of our other listeners who made it out yesterday! At our Shhh! There Are Pagans in Texas booth we had lots of freebies (or Shhhwag as a brillant listener referred to it). We had pagan water, pagan chocolate, quartz crystals, candles, and silver ribons for our new Pagan Journalist Awareness Campaign. Rose and I were impromptu-ly interviewed by the CPWS People, I've looked on their website to see if their is a video play back, but I haven't found it. I'll keep yo updated if they post something. It was a really good day, it was hot, and we all went home afterwards and passed out. My husband was my hero yesterday. He set up our easy-up (tent) and the new table (that I couldn't figure out) and tied awesome knots to hang our banner, and hung out with us and kept us sane. He is fantastic.

Chao!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

A Quick Update

Our coven had our first "Adopt an Area" pickup yesterday! It was really fun. I only wish my allergies hadn't gone insanely overactive. My allergies have been so extreme, two days this week it rained and the temperatures dropped, something must be in bloom. :-/ But anyway, the pick up was tons of fun; we picked up a whole bunch of trash, had good conversations, and a nice break with lemonade half way thru.

Thanks to everyone who came out.

ALSO! Episode 4 of "Shhh! There Are Pagans In Texas" is here! You can download it from here.

And finally, Rose & I will be at Pagan Pride Day on Saturday the 11th! We'll have our own "Shhh! There Are Pagans in Texas" booth so come visit us!